Saturday, October 26, 2013
The view over the valley. To be honest, an older picture, but it looks pretty much the same. Those two colorful trees are just starting to shed their leaves like every year. I remember them well from childhood, when my best friend lived across the street and the trees provided hours of fun as we jumped into their leaves or used them as "home base" in a game of hide and seek, or a game we played called Bloody Murder where one person hid and everyone sought that person, and screamed BLOODDDY MURRDER when spotted. I'm sure the other neighbors loved that.
I'm treating myself to a new pair of boots, bought online. I never did that before. I hope they fit. I have one pair of dress boots and everytime I wear them, more people talk to me. Even if it is only to tell me how nice my boots are. It's nice to be noticed.
Lately, with all my life changes, music has taken a back seat. At a get together a few months ago I was handed a guitar and, for a second, couldn't really think of anything to play by heart. An odd feeling for someone like me who once had 50 songs at ready, just needing an audience. Life happens. I managed to eek out a version of Layla and Margaritaville. Nothing special. It was a wake up call to hone my talents again. Perhaps I'll make a space in the basement. Hook everything up again. A winter hobby. Something to do with the change of seasons.
Season of wither. I think that is an old Aerosmith song. So few flowers left now. Marigolds....and the
Big amaranth...loves lies bleeding.....and a Pansy pot I put on the porch. Color is going to be gone soon and the gray and white winter landscape is ahead. Yesterday I almost drove off the road looking at the blue of
the sky and the colorful trees along the road. That blue is the color of my room. Real sky blue.
Drinking coffee again. Just a little bit more. Warms the innards. Less calories than hot chocolate. Winter jammies are washed and ready. Extra blanket for the bed. I bought new socks that are warm. That's nice about fall, isnt' it? Turning on the electric fireplace again, airing out my favorite sweaters. Snuggling up and watching a movie.
But there are no longer any children outside yelling BLOOOODDYYY MURRRDER.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
We're still a little while from sunrise as I begin this missive, but the streaks of pink are starting to form in the east just above some dark heavy rain clouds on the horizon. I see a chemtrail of a plane in the distance, some early morning flight to somewhere. Warm enough to open the window for the cat.
It's been another week of nonsense and hostage taking in Washington. I've had it with the teabaggers. Bunch of ignorant fools willing to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Don't mess with my retirement money. I'm getting old and can't take the stock risks anymore. All this nonsense is having an effect on the markets. When you have to chose between your money and your pride, I take the money everytime. Lick your wounds and go buy something to sooth your fragile egos. Perhaps it's time these imbeciles took advice from the fatcats out there, since they won't listen to the commonfolk.
Been musing about fear this week. Fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, fear of middle age, etc. The heavy stuff. Fears hold people back from many things. But they also keep us clinging to things. I read all this Zen stuff about letting go...allowing...don't push the river-type stuff, perhaps in an attempt to ease my mind and let go of my need to try to control things that happen. Little things are easily scattered....but if you let things go, they become big things. Not so easy to scatter...or make right....again. I am constant motion. Scattering things...watching so that things don't run out. I spend time trying to anticipate so many needs...with my lists and work projects and all the day to day stuff of life. So much stems from fear. Being able to keep all the plates spinning.... even when life throws curve balls at you.
The Tao talks about about the Sage not flitting about like a fool. The words speak to the wisdom of finding happiness right where you are. The answers are not "out there" somewhere. It's in Here. Within ourselves and the circumstances we find ourselves in. I more or less live like that. I do find my joy close to home. Yet I have much work to do when it comes to letting go. Giving over and allowing things to happen as they may and not use up present moments in fear and worry so much. In the end it's all about peace of mind, right? That's where I always end up, no matter whose thoughts I read, or what I listen to.
Oh, so much of all this isn't thought out perfectly this morning. But that's okay. I'm "allowing" thoughts to fall onto the page this morning without trying to be my own editor, too.
The sun is up over the valley. Another day to start again. Petting cats, cooking chicken, doing laundry, and making a bouquet of the last of the garden flowers.... while the snowblower lurks at the back of the garage.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Almost a week in of October, and it's 68 degrees at 9 in the morning. Wow.
It's a golden autumn day, and some zinnias are still blooming along with the sunflowers. The morning glories are glorious, reaching high in the sky winding upward along the aerial next to the house.
Normally this would be a day of yard work, but today I'll be sipping tea and reading instead. I got a virus that was going around....thought I was through with it, but now it is turning into a sinus infection. I look as miserable as I feel which adds up sympathy points.
The stray gray cat has a name now. Gracie. But I have no idea how we can keep her. We are full up with cats. Three is enough. But what real options are there in life for a cat with a deformed ear and 6 toes on each paw? The shelter is not an option at this point. Maybe an ad in the newspaper? It's not like she isn't unique. Maybe someone is missing her.
I'm reading La Popessa, a fascinating story about the life of Mother Pascalina, who was Pope Pius XII's housekeeper and dear friend. The book, which is controversial, reveals the inner workings of the Vatican for good or for worse. But the interesting part of the story is the relationship between the Pope and this dedicated nun, whose love for her church and the Pope placed her in the middle of some very serious crises within the church. Of special interest was the efforts to save Jews during World War II by giving them shelter in the Vatican itself.
Well, time to move on for now. A lazy day awaits.