A Trip to the Dentist

I don't know how I got through all those dentist visits as a child. Growing up I was a chocolate freak and ate a lot of sugary stuff and drank Tang. My teeth suffered for it. I have those huge silvery fillings in the back, and I recall getting at least three root canals, and I even had some kind of gum surgery which I now find was unnecessary.
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At the time it was very necessary. Probably because my old dentist was in cahoots with a gum doc who was starting out. But that's another story.

All in all, I don't have dentures yet, so I'm doing okay.
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Now as an adult, I have this anxiety over dentist trips that I didn't have as a kid, even with all the bad stuff I went through. My new dentist is the silent type which makes it worse. I would be much happier if he had a little commentator in him for reassurance.
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My ideal scenario is this: Oh...things are going well...a little chip here, a little drill noise there....suction...doing good... I'm 30 percent done now...relax I will let you spit in 15 seconds and we will go on to part two.
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Okay, here's a kleenex, let's do this. I'm going to put this gunk in and smooth it up a bit...there...that's great. You are wonderful. Just hold on...pay no attention to that beeping sound it is not a heart monitor. It will stop in a few seconds and you can spit again.
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Great. Here's another kleenex. Relax. Catch your breath, I'm 90 percent done...

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You get the picture. But the scenario played out like this:
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I ask him a question before he starts. What did you think of the US Open?
I lean back he pries open my mouth, and says something like, that young Rory kid did really well.
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Crickets chirping.
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Nothing else. I realize I'm on my own. I start replaying pleasant moments of my life. I try counting backwards from 100. I try to name all 50 states.
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What feels like 20 minutes later... he says, "suction please."
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That's it. I'm flailing my arms, my whole life is passing before me. I swear I will drown or choke or freak out or just die right there, and just then he says "you can rinse." I ask if I can have vodka in the water.
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No laugh. Probably heard that before.

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I want to ask...how far done are we? Should I have gone to a "sleep" dentist? I resign myself to clutching the chair arms and bearing down to the bitter end.
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Afterward, I did ask, "How did I compare on the anxiety scale with other patients? Should I bring Valium next time?" He says there are far worse. He has had people call from the bar down the street, wanting an appointment RIGHT NOW because they are drunk enough to do it. Had to get the courage up.
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Perhaps next time.