Rushing Things, But That's Ok

Shamrock shakes are out already. I had one yesterday and we are still 10 days away from Valentines Day. But then again there is no Valentine's Shake. Probably should be.  Like a strawberry one with lots of whipped cream and that gorgeous but not so great tasting maraschino cherry on top.

I googled that cherry and they don't grow like that on trees.(Not that I thought they did, but I was curious how they did get that way.) Suffice to say it's a process. A lot of work involving dyes and brine.

They always remind me of college with the old gag about being to tie the stem into a knot with your tongue.

Anyhow, spring can't be too far behind, with shamrock shakes out. It's like seeing the first robin.

David Byrne Said...

Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.
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David Byrne
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The Big Day

Deal Breakers

He was handsome, witty, a trifle brooding (but in a sexy poetic-artist-INFP kind of way,) had a killer body and looked great in a suit. Women loved him and men wanted to BE him.

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But he smelled like Garlic.

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That would be a deal breaker.

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Miracle Whip matters not to me, but in the Sunday Morning Muse yesterday, I got to thinking about what other things at this stage in my life would be the one specific detail, or perhaps idiosyncracy- which would trigger the dreaded deal breaker reflex.

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I love men who have hobbies and interests, but being a fanatic is deal breaker. It's true for all different things...no religious fanatics, no Elvis shrine in the house, no super health food fanatics, etc. Basketball springs to mind simply because it is March Madness. Go ahead, do a bracket. That's cool. It's betting. Just like I bet the "over and under" of the latest snowfall because I'm THAT bored this winter. But.... I hate basketball, and I will not spend precious moments of life watching it. Been there, done that. So if you have to watch every game for a whole month...that is a deal breaker.

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If you have any of Charlie Sheen's Tiger blood in you, it's a deal breaker. Drug use, drinking, multiple women... forget it. Put smoking on that list too. I don't smoke, and I'm to the point now where I don't think smoking is "cool." I don't want to live with smoke, smell like smoke, or die from second hand smoke. Deal breaker.

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Being boring is a deal breaker, too. I at least want someone who can hold their own in a conversation, are interested in the news, and have some ideas about life other than wondering what is on TV tonight.

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But...and here it comes. The number one deal breaker for me is BAD TASTE IN MUSIC. I know that is subjective thing, but I know what I like. I will not tolerate Michael Bolton, Toby Keith or the Insane Clown Posse. And that's just for starters. So expect the first conversation to be about music. Music tells me more than anything about someone's soul.

Valentine's Weekend

Where is the love? My unofficial survey of guys who pass by me throughout the day reveals that few if any are doing anything special for Valentine's Day. Even though I ask around every year, I can remember only one man in recent memory say that he had plans for a nice dinner out (with his wife I assume) and probably some chocolate covered strawberries.

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Creative one, there. Oh well, he's trying.

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My sweetest Valentine memory was clear back in college. I had just started dating a guy, not even a few weeks into the relationship, and even though he wasn't obligated, and I didn't expect anything (for the above reason, and being that he was admittedly broke,) he made me a Valentine and left it in my mailbox. I remember that all these years, so he must have made an impression.

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Steal My Heart Away

Looks like Van is back up on YouTube. I hope people upload some of his old stuff again.
It just steals my heart away.

Almost Valentine's Day

Going through my piles of things during The Big Move, I came upon a heart shaped vase with "I love you" written in many foreign languages. So sweet. But I've never used the vase. Not since that long ago Valentine's Day when I was in high school, when things went very wrong.

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Oh puppy love. When the doorbell rang and I saw the vase filled with flowers my heart soared! You see I had a crush on this guy and I just knew he wouldn't forget me for Valentine's Day! It was exciting to think he spent all this money to buy me flowers! I tore open the card expecting to see some sentimental little phrase and his signature. But NOOOOO. What was this? A joke? I didn't even recognize the name for a few seconds. Sheesh... it couldn't be.

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It was from ANOTHER guy. One I didn't really know well, and never really wanted to know well. I thought he was strange, or older, or...something. I can't even remember now, but his face came rushing back to my brain when I picked up that silly vase. A pretty vase really. I love you...in all those languages. And I still have it. And I never saw him ever again.

Would I Marry Big Ben? Like, No. Duh.

Who wants cooties?

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Some talking heads on the radio made me laugh today. One in particular was twisting himself into a pretzel trying to reduce the Big Ben engagement into a case for believing in redemption, or just being a "hater."

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It's a set up.

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I don't hate Big Ben. But I don't see him as marriage material. As for the redemption he is attempting for his lapses in judgment, well, IMHO, that's just work in progress. Time will tell if this egotistic oaf will fly the straight and narrow path to keep his superiors signing his paychecks.

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In the meantime, I can't imagine what would possess a woman to walk down an aisle and make promises to him. Unless the pre-nup has a lotta cash. Insurance dontcha know for that whole redemption thing.

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I'm just sayin'.

Step Right Up and Find Your Soulmate!

Are you still searching for that elusive soul mate? You know what I'm talking about. And so do all those people on those silly dating site commercials who plugged in all their desired traits, paid their money, hit a key stroke and... Va la! Instant soulmate.
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I'm kidding. But you know, people can "label" anything. Who am I to say these love lorn internet surfers haven't INDEED found their greatest love. But a great love doesn't necessarily qualify as a soul mate. You don't know what kind of screwed up relationships they endured before.
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But, hear me out on this, because I've entertained a few thoughts on the subject. I believe you can learn to love someone you are attracted to and find contentment in that. You may even settle in for the rest of your life. Just not wanting to be alone is something which motivates a lot of people to tie the knot. These types of relationships tend to need a lot of nurturing, plenty of patience and a lot of forgiveness on both sides. Because you can't change people. You adapt. What I have seen as two people like this "become one," is they actually become "two---half-people." They lose their individuality.Their whole lives become a compromise to one another.(ex: My husband doesn't like me to cut my hair so I keep it long) Eventually they lose themselves all together and with that, whatever qualities that attracted them to each other in the first place.

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You can also "fall in love" with someone because there is this big chemical attraction and hormones are going wild and you entertain the notion of some future together before you really find out what that person is all about. It can be a crap shoot. You may find that the sparks die down after you discover you both have very different dreams and goals in life. Different world views. Then again, you may get lucky and be very compatable, and carry that spark all the way to old age.
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But when you meet a soul mate it is a different deal. An unspoken connection exists almost from the moment you meet. And it doesn't go away. In conversations you can almost read each other's thoughts at times, finishing each other's sentences, or jumping to the same conclusions without really having to explain yourself. A knowing of sorts...without words...is shared. But this doesn't imply total agreement on everything.
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Quite the contrary.That would be boring. Instead you can be a complement to each other's thoughts and dreams. Challenge each other to new heights, bond even further with new ways of thinking about things--share your different backgrounds, experiences, and hobbies. Envision together a life that doesn't require you to give up doing what you already love to do, or to look any different than you do now, or pretend to like something that you don't just so "he'll like me." You can just BE and that is enough.
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Because being who you are, and loving each other unconditionally, is really what it is all about.

Your Song- Elton John

My gift is my song....and this one's for you.

The Scatter Gun Approach to Women

Ever wonder why women seem to be attracted to the "bad boys?"

Link

According to a new study, men who are narcissistic, thrill-seeking liars and all round "bad boys" tend to have the greatest success finding more sexual partners. Scientists believe that the root of their good fortune is simply that they try it on with more women, therefore by the law of averages are likely to ensnare more.

Hmmmm. Now I get it.

I Now Pronounce You... uhhh...Just Married

Here's a question I bet no one has ever asked you. If you could marry any inanimate object, what would it be? (Certainly makes the whole anti-gay marriage thing seem trivial in comparison, doesn't it?) Opens up a whole new avenue for those who remain unattached at the moment and wish to find a life long companion. Or perhaps some of you out there are already married to an inanimate object on your couch, and would consider a change of scenery?

I got to thinking about this after Neatorama posted the story about the woman who married the Eiffel Tower. I guess she changed her name and everything.... pledged to love and honor... but I dare not speculate about the uh... Honeymoon night.

Hmmmm.

Back to inanimate objects. Since I can't come up with anything off the top of my head, I will attempt to reason my way through the question. It would be unreasonable to marry, say, Stonehenge, or one of the Great Pyramids. Too far away anyhow. Hmmm. The Berlin Wall is taken. Bummer. Not that I really cared a lot. It's gone now anyway.. but Mrs. Berlin Wall lives with bits of barbed wire somewhere in Sweden. Follow the link. I can't make this up.

I could marry the Viaduct that spans a river and a junk yard in my hometown, but that is a bit bourgeois, wouldn't you think? Especially with all the possibilities out there. I mean, it's early in the game. There's got to be plenty of "single" choices out there.

What qualities would I even look for in an inanimate spouse? For a lasting relationship I need an object that has stood the test of time. Something tall.... something solid and well taken care of.

Maybe I can marry the last Big Boy in America!

Dean Martin's Version of Blue Moon.... almost

What a charmer....This song doesn't really end up like you think it will. Leave your mouse alone and just listen to it. Sweet.

I Hope that I Don't Fall in Love with You

I'll Leap into My Petticoat and Propose

Tonight's my big chance. Folk legend has it that women can propose marriage only on leap years.

wikipedia:

Supposedly, a 1288 law by Queen Margaret of Scotland (then age five and living in Norway), required that fines be levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man; compensation ranged from a kiss to £1 to a silk gown, in order to soften the blow.[8] Because men felt that put them at too great a risk, the tradition was in some places tightened to restricting female proposals to the modern leap day, 29 February, or to the medieval leap day, 24 February.

(snip)
Women looking to take advantage of their opportunity to pitch woo were expected to wear a scarlet petticoat -- fair warning, if you will."[9]
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In Denmark, the tradition is that women may propose on leap day 24 February and that refusal must be compensated with 12 pairs of gloves.

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Unfortunately, I don't have a Scarlet Petticoat, though I admit it sounds quite sexy. And I can't even go out tonight because of the snow. (Had to leave the car down the hill and walk up the real Goosepath back home.)I suppose with this cold weather and snow, I'd settle for the 12 pairs of gloves.

The Sunday Morning Muse, February 17, 2008

This morning's muse is .... love. Appropriate for Valentine's week,
I saw the 2004 romantic movie "The Notebook", and watching Rachael Mcadams and Ryan Gosling-- who reportedly met on the set and fell in love, it was hard not to believe in real love. They certainly "acted" in love. The crazy, all consuming, fighting, loving, laughing, making-out, screaming kind of love. Where you live in the moment, and the rest of the world becomes your playground. The kind of love where you lose track of time --and talk for hours.
How did they ever separate themselves from their characters...and their blooming love? Perhaps they didn't!

It was a nice movie to watch... a gentler time... the 40s... beautiful waters, sunsets, moonlight, carnivals--- romantic settings and beautiful people. And the love story was told as memories of an old couple -- in a modern day nursing home. They made it to the end. Death in each other's arms.

So I wondered.... what happened to Rachel and Ryan? No More Rain Soaked Kisses. They broke up last year.

Won't You Be My Valentine?

I smiled a lot today, just observing people trying to do something for Valentine's Day. I truly don't know whether it is better or worse to be part of a couple on this day anymore.

It can be pressure... finding just the right gift, when you are literally on your way home from work. Saw a lot of those guys lined up at the candy store.... all stressed out.

Then there's the women who sit in offices full of other women and watch the delivery man pull up. It's like some dreadful love lottery.... a public display of who is loved... and who is not.

And I opened up my Email...and wow! A Valentine's E-card ....when you care enough to hit SEND.

Thanks Suki! It's nice to be remembered.

The Sunday Morning Muse, October 21, 2007

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Dumbledore is .... . What?


J.K. Rowling broke the news Friday night at an appearance before a full house at Carnegie Hall.
One young fan asked whether Dumbledore finds "true love."



AP News

"Dumbledore is gay," the author responded to gasps and applause. She then explained that Dumbledore was smitten with rival Gellert Grindelwald, whom he defeated long ago in a battle between good and bad wizards. "Falling in love can blind us to an extent," Rowling said of Dumbledore's feelings, adding that Dumbledore was "horribly, terribly let down."

Dumbledore's love, she observed, was his "great tragedy."

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My take? No big deal. He's still Dumbledore. Rowling says she wants her books to be a "prolonged argument for tolerance." This announcement proves it in a big way.

Now I suspect we will barraged by those who represent the prolonged argument for intolerance.

(At least they aren't burning witches at the stake in Salem anymore....)

Happy Sweetest Day

Before you click past and do what I normally would do.... mutter "Hummph! It's just another made-up holiday to keep the greeting card companies in business!".... hear me out.

I have a new respect for Sweetest Day. It began in 1922 in Cleveland,
Ohio--- the brain child of a man who worked for a candy company and wanted to give candy and gifts away to orphans and shut-ins, and people who were forgotten.

See Theda here?


She was a movie star back then. Jumped on this idea right away.... giving out 10,000 boxes of candy to people in hospitals and to those who came to watch one of her films at the Playhouse Square Theaters in Cleveland, Ohio.

My point is..... do something for someone! I know the holiday has morphed into a silly greeting card thing. Or a 'young couples" thing with the dinner for two or the "splash" package at some Holiday Inn, but it doesn't have to be that way.

And if you are alone... be nice to your cat. It'll do, until my "Cat Day" idea catches on.... but I digress.

Prince Charming 101 for Beginners

Still striking out with women? Just can't seem to impress one when you invite her over to watch basketball and have a nice dinner of Domino's Pizza and Milwaukee's Best?

Yahoo-Personals got your back. Sure fire tips to help you charm that new girl in the office, or the new greeter at Walmart. It won't be easy at first, but try at least some of the things on this list, and you may lure a woman close enough to your cave to drag her in, and light her fire.