Advertising Haiku

I Can Write Haiku

I can write Haiku on a train
I can write Haiku in the rain
I can write Haiku on a wall
I can write Haiku in a stall.
I can write Haiku with a friend,
I can write Haiku and hit SEND.

It’s quite easy to write Haiku,
If I can do it, so can you.

---
(Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.)

Finally Friday- George Jones

Bill Maher and Christopher Hitchens on Religion

A Lot of Hot Air

On the calendar it isn't summer yet, but with the first temps in the 90's this week along with the dreaded three h's... (hazy, hot, humid) spring seems to be slipping by much too fast.

The airconditioner is back from it's 9 month visit to the garage. I'm really not an 'airconditioning' type of person. I keep it in the bedroom incase I can't take it any more on those HHH nights, when the ceiling fan isn't doing enough. I used to put one in the Diningroom, too. I don't anymore. My thought was this would cool the whole place down, but it didn't, and it destroyed the view of the garden. Full house air isn't feasible in this old house.

Air "conditioning." That's what I'm musing about this morning. Silly as it seems, I never thought of it as conditioning, but that's what it is. We are conditioning the air to make it more comfortable to be in. Making air do what we want.

There are those people who run air-conditioners 24-7. It's almost a sense of entitlement.... somehow man has triumphed over hot air, and no more shall ye bask in one's sweat sitting in front of a fan. Energy use is not part of the equation if you can afford the bill. Comfort takes precedence over everything. I don't fit in with that view. I actually LIKE summer. The three H's are great when I'm on a golf course with beer and sun and shorts. I like the heat. I like cool breezes now and then. I feel hermetically sealed in with full house air. I'm in airconditioning all day at work. I want to actually feel summer when I'm home.

I find it best to ration airconditioning as an occasional means of escape from the drudgery of heat, but still maintaining a sense of summer. Windows open mostly....ceiling fans, etc. A happy medium of man and hot air. Perhaps even a thought to conservation. Avoid the whole "rolling blackout" thing we had here a few years ago.

And, besides, without the diningroom airconditioner in the window, the cat retains her view of the garden and woods.

But the bedroom window will be off limits till September.

I Now Pronounce You... uhhh...Just Married

Here's a question I bet no one has ever asked you. If you could marry any inanimate object, what would it be? (Certainly makes the whole anti-gay marriage thing seem trivial in comparison, doesn't it?) Opens up a whole new avenue for those who remain unattached at the moment and wish to find a life long companion. Or perhaps some of you out there are already married to an inanimate object on your couch, and would consider a change of scenery?

I got to thinking about this after Neatorama posted the story about the woman who married the Eiffel Tower. I guess she changed her name and everything.... pledged to love and honor... but I dare not speculate about the uh... Honeymoon night.

Hmmmm.

Back to inanimate objects. Since I can't come up with anything off the top of my head, I will attempt to reason my way through the question. It would be unreasonable to marry, say, Stonehenge, or one of the Great Pyramids. Too far away anyhow. Hmmm. The Berlin Wall is taken. Bummer. Not that I really cared a lot. It's gone now anyway.. but Mrs. Berlin Wall lives with bits of barbed wire somewhere in Sweden. Follow the link. I can't make this up.

I could marry the Viaduct that spans a river and a junk yard in my hometown, but that is a bit bourgeois, wouldn't you think? Especially with all the possibilities out there. I mean, it's early in the game. There's got to be plenty of "single" choices out there.

What qualities would I even look for in an inanimate spouse? For a lasting relationship I need an object that has stood the test of time. Something tall.... something solid and well taken care of.

Maybe I can marry the last Big Boy in America!

Angel From Montgomery

Written by John Prine, performed by Bonnie Raitt. "What kind of a person, goes to work in the morning, comes home in the evening...and has nothin' to say?"

Cemetary Polka

And for your Friday Night listening pleasure... I bring you... Tom Waits!

Is It Worth the Weight?

Fly Derrie-Air !!!!

Pack less, weigh less, pay less!

Everyday the news gets worse. Stocks in the tank today, record oil prices, airline woes. Fark had a great story about an airline hoax ad that ran in Philly papers. It was good for a chuckle. It's actually part of some market research. I can't imagine for what. Who can afford to fly anymore?

Hell in handbasket. That's the mode of travel of the future if things don't shape up soon.

Bonnie and Clyde- Georgie Fame

I found this song,which I used to sing as a kid,and never knew who did it. How neat when I found it was Georgie Fame!I recognized him immediately.

(Note to Suki: please watch till at least one minute and 10 seconds in--to get a good closeup. He's as sweet as Tupelo Honey, but he has bad teeth, a quality that you find so charming about the singers in the old videos I post.

The Sunday Morning Muse, June 1, 2008

We have separation of church and state here in the US of A. That said, in order to get elected though, and actually become President of this great land, there are some unwritten rules of the road:



1. You have to believe in some sort of invisible, all knowing, powerful being in the sky who watches over us and blesses the United States. Otherwise you can't end every speech with "God Bless America!!!"



2. Be careful which being you pick to worship. Some are more popular than others, and if you believe in the wrong one.... or none at all, you lose any realistic chance at election. Also, be careful how you pray... not to loud, not to long, not too strong, not all the time, not so much in public unless you are actually in a church, or saying a blessing at a meal. Even then don't do anything that may be construed as undignified or out of the mainstream. And don't wear any strange looking scarves. Even if they were a gift from your mother. Remember what happened this week to Rachael Ray. And she's just a talk show host.



3. You certainly have to make nice with the religious right and appear to care about what they care about. Whether you do or don't. Or you will be very very sorry. Hell hath no fury like anti-abortion demonstrators.



4. You may not be able to attend your own church. This is because your fellow churchgoers will be pounded by media attention as people try to "get something on you," to use against you. Also, every word your pastor says since he was born will be scrutinized. And you just may have to denounce things he says along the way, or own up to them. You have to decide which is worse.



5. In short, be nice to everyone no matter what religion they have or do not have. Restrain from making fun of the more outlandish beliefs, and please, if God starts speaking to you... don't tell anyone.