Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A Snowman's Fate

This photo was originally from Flickr, but it was reposted at Neatorama. You can see some really unusual photos on that site. Just click that poor snowman before he melts.

Goodbye,Farewell and Amen... 24 Years Later

I am too young to have the conversation "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" But I AM young enough to remember where I was when the Final Episode of Mash aired.

The episode received the highest ratings of any TV show in history. It was on this date in 1983.... I was a mere freshman in college and I can remember about 50 of us crammed into the common area in the guy's dorm, crowded around the rather small television.

MASH is my only memory of the Korean War, since I wasn't born yet. The thing I liked about MASH was the way the characters endeared themselves to the audience in a plausible, authentic way. It was good writing. Yes, it was a comedy, but unlike the inane comedies of today, you could watch it with your mother without wincing at lame sex jokes or a sexual reference every 3.8 minutes. This is about as close as it gets:

"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice." Dr. Sidney Freedman

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Virgin Mary on a Pizza Pan

It was a normal day for Guadalupe Rodriguez, washing and scrubbing a sheet pan at Pugh Elementary Schol in Houston, when... she noticed something special about this particular pan.... behold! The Virgin Mary! I wanted to make sure my dear friend in Houston --an avid Goosepath reader--was aware of this. I wrote him, and he reports back that sure enough, even the Anna Nicole story was blown off the front page, and as he describes it, "It was the lead story on T.V. that night. You had people in wheel chairs and walkers coming up and praying to the pizza pan."

Indeed the AP story says that more than 200 of the faithful attended the shrine on Thursday, and dozens more arrived on Friday.

I'm not sure what to make of it all. My friend suggested we get Father Guido Sarducci on this right away. Maybe arrange a "Pizza Pan" Tour, so the masses ( pardon the pun) can enjoy it up close.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Columbo to Decide Fate of Anna Nicole

Seriously, can this whole media circus over Anna Nicole Smith's death get any stranger? (Just kiddin' about Columbo, but he COULD play the Judge in the inevitable made for TV movie about this case, because he does have some of the same quirky mannerisms as Anna Nicole's case Judge Larry Seidlin.)

And what about her body? I find it interesting that she is not as well preserved as James Brown who died December 25th.

The Associated Press reports:

(Her) body is decomposing so rapidly that a public viewing may not be possible, the funeral director handling the still-unburied corpse of James Brown says the soul singer is looking good.
"No problem," said Charles Reid, director of the C.A. Reid Funeral Home, which handled The Godfather of Soul's funeral service. Reid said this week that he has checked Brown's body almost daily in the past two months during the legal fight over Brown's estate and where he should be buried. The reason for the difference in their condition, experts said, is that Brown was embalmed within a few hours of his death, while Smith's body was refrigerated for more than a week before being embalmed. Refrigeration creates moisture that contributes to decomposition.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Will He Get Hazard Pay for This?

An asteroid is spiraling through outerspace as we speak on a possible collision course with Earth in April of 2036. The big question is… will Bruce Willis be able to reprise his role in Armageddon and commandeer a spacecraft on a mission to successfully blast the giant rock to smithereens?

Well, Bruce was born March 19, 1955. Hmmm…. he’ll be 81 years old. Yeah, If he eats right and watches his weight and cholestrol, perhaps.

They say the chances of an asteroid hitting the earth in your lifetime are better than your odds of winning the lotto. Fortunately the odds of this particular asteroid hitting Earth are low. I’m not worried. I know I’ll survive, because the Death Clock says I don’t expire till Nov. 22, 2043.
Either way, it wouldn’t hurt to stay close to me on April 13, 2036.

December 31, 2036 is Bruce Willis's Death Date according to the Death Clock. Somehow him dying in the SAME YEAR that this asteroid is supposed to hit, is not very comforting at all.
I'm just sayin'.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

You Don't Need to Leave So Soon

This is the famous Crossroads Centre for Rehab that Eric Clapton founded on the Carribbean Island of Antigua. Britney Spears supposedly checked in and out of there within a day.

If she is serious about addiction, perhaps she really needs the Hotel California. You can check out anytime you like... but....

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Get Ready for Chinese New Year- 4705

Okay, with the deep freeze and the blizzard conditions, Valentine's Day is a bit of a bust. So.... let's look ahead to CHINESE NEW YEAR. This happens to be the Year of the Pig. This year it occurs on February 18th and the year is 4705 on the Chinese Calendar. How, you may ask, is the appropriate way to celebrate? Well, since I'm a long way from Chinatown I have to improvise.
Believe it or not, it is appropriate to CLEAN THE HOUSE to sweep away the bad luck from the past year. So there you go. I'm snow bound so what better time to get rid of bad luck? Laundry is spinning, broom is handy. And for lunch today? Sesame Chicken. (one of those fine new entrees from Lean Cuisine.) Another fun tradition is rubbing honey on the Kitchen God. (pictured above) If he can get here in the big snow today, I'll certainly try to make it worth his time. ;)

Monday, February 12, 2007

What Women DON'T Want

Amazon has this list of bad Valentine's Day Gifts. I'd have to say my favorite is a bottle of St. John's Wart --an herbal treatment for depression--to try to put your significant other in a good mood.
Billy Bass here comes in second for me. When he was first sold, I thought a talking wall mounted fish was bizarre, but cute. Now all I can think of is Tony Soprano getting that fish as a Christmas present from his daughter Meadow. He associated the fish with one in a fishmonger's display---and he kept seeing the head of his dead friend Salvatore Bonpensiero.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sweets for the Sweet

Today I was watching the men in the Valentine Aisle at a store. A grown man was pressing pink teddy bear's paws to listen to their messages. Another was on a cell phone ( probably with his wife) saying he doesn't know what to buy for the children's Valentine's party.... and he was tired, and just wanted to come home. A third man was clutching the biggest candy- box heart on the shelf, trying to walk away.... but I could tell he was wondering if he shouldn't buy something else.... just one more thing... sooo... my topic today is ------


Here's some free advice. If you can buy it on the way home from work in a drug store, it probably isn't the best choice for a gift. Valentine's Day is really a no brainer, if you stick with the basics. If you cook, cook something for her. If you are not Emeril, then eat out--- or order in.

Flowers? Any kind will do. Chocolate? Get the best. Really. Forget the Whitman's Sampler. Go for Godiva.
Forget buying lingerie unless you have bought something like that before for her, and have had good results. If you buy it too big-- she'll think you think she's fat. If it's too small.... well, that's even worse. That's my point. Good Luck!

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Cupid -- Save Me from Online Dating

"PARKER, CO—After years of unrelenting disappointment and failure on the dating scene, eligible singles Karen Ridenour and Paul Klein forged an instant, clinging bond last month through a mutual desperation born mainly out of an intense fear of being unloved for the rest of their lives. " quoted from The Onion.

I laughed the first time I read that line. Then I read it again and thought, sheesh, that is probably reality for quite a lot of couples out there.

Ever notice how the on line dating ads suddenly double around the holidays?

The ads show these deliriously happy couples who "found" a soul mate after they answered several questions. And if these dancing, kissing, smiling people can find each other, I'm sure someone out there will match with YOU, too. I have some advice though before you throw your hat in the ring. Take a new photo. I don't care how wonderful you looked on the beach last summer if there is still a body-less hand draped over your shoulder, from where you "cropped out" your old girlfriend.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Free Beer

Now that I have your attention... If you are spending some time in the pubs during this Dead of Winter, right here is a way that you can hustle yourself some free beer. It's a great trick....though, technically it ISN'T a trick, it's just geometry. ( I must have been absent the day they taught us how to hustle free drinks with Geometry, but I digress... ) If you haven't seen this before, it's worth watching the video, even though you know how it will end. Heck, I was impressed. Hand me that beer glass.

A Sense of Wonder

Wow.... I'm speechless at this photograph . Follow the link, I promise you will be amazed with the bigger, higher definition version. The photographer captured fireworks, lightning AND the comet in the same picture. Talk about a 'perfect moment.' It was the Astronomy Picture of the Day for February 5, 2007.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

A Sentimental Journey

A cynic once said that if you want romance, buy a cheap novel. I guess an old movie works just as well. The TV is flooded with romance movies with Valentine's Day coming up. An all time favorite is Somewhere in Time. When I watch the movie now that Christopher Reeve is gone, I can't help but feel a real sense of loss. He was an exceptionally handsome man, and Jane Seymour is such a timeless beauty!

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Is It Cold Enough for You?

Redrum.... Redrum... The Shining has my vote for one of the scariest movies of all time. It serves as a reminder that ghosts, goblins, and all the draculas on the planet are not as scary as the human mind.
So... shake off the cabin fever and, as a popular cruise line challenges you..... GET OUT THERE.
Because, all work and no play makes Jack dull boy.

Friday, February 2, 2007

What's Up Doc..Can Carrots Turn You Orange?

Carrots, love them or hate them. I will eat them raw, but force myself to eat them cooked. Imagine if you ate nothing but carrots FOR ONE MONTH? The girl below, did just that.
In her blog, she talks about her day to day quest,
. . . but Why Do This?

She did it to see whether she would turn orange. People have told me they know of other people....and babies.... (too much carrot baby food)...that this has happened to. I have to admire her. I had carrots for breakfast one day last month to see if I could jump start a diet. Oh well.