Are you still searching for that elusive soul mate? You know what I'm talking about. And so do all those people on those silly dating site commercials who plugged in all their desired traits, paid their money, hit a key stroke and... Va la! Instant soulmate.
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I'm kidding. But you know, people can "label" anything. Who am I to say these love lorn internet surfers haven't INDEED found their greatest love. But a great love doesn't necessarily qualify as a soul mate. You don't know what kind of screwed up relationships they endured before.
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But, hear me out on this, because I've entertained a few thoughts on the subject. I believe you can learn to love someone you are attracted to and find contentment in that. You may even settle in for the rest of your life. Just not wanting to be alone is something which motivates a lot of people to tie the knot. These types of relationships tend to need a lot of nurturing, plenty of patience and a lot of forgiveness on both sides. Because you can't change people. You adapt. What I have seen as two people like this "become one," is they actually become "two---half-people." They lose their individuality.Their whole lives become a compromise to one another.(ex: My husband doesn't like me to cut my hair so I keep it long) Eventually they lose themselves all together and with that, whatever qualities that attracted them to each other in the first place.
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I'm kidding. But you know, people can "label" anything. Who am I to say these love lorn internet surfers haven't INDEED found their greatest love. But a great love doesn't necessarily qualify as a soul mate. You don't know what kind of screwed up relationships they endured before.
-
But, hear me out on this, because I've entertained a few thoughts on the subject. I believe you can learn to love someone you are attracted to and find contentment in that. You may even settle in for the rest of your life. Just not wanting to be alone is something which motivates a lot of people to tie the knot. These types of relationships tend to need a lot of nurturing, plenty of patience and a lot of forgiveness on both sides. Because you can't change people. You adapt. What I have seen as two people like this "become one," is they actually become "two---half-people." They lose their individuality.Their whole lives become a compromise to one another.(ex: My husband doesn't like me to cut my hair so I keep it long) Eventually they lose themselves all together and with that, whatever qualities that attracted them to each other in the first place.
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You can also "fall in love" with someone because there is this big chemical attraction and hormones are going wild and you entertain the notion of some future together before you really find out what that person is all about. It can be a crap shoot. You may find that the sparks die down after you discover you both have very different dreams and goals in life. Different world views. Then again, you may get lucky and be very compatable, and carry that spark all the way to old age.
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But when you meet a soul mate it is a different deal. An unspoken connection exists almost from the moment you meet. And it doesn't go away. In conversations you can almost read each other's thoughts at times, finishing each other's sentences, or jumping to the same conclusions without really having to explain yourself. A knowing of sorts...without words...is shared. But this doesn't imply total agreement on everything.
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Quite the contrary.That would be boring. Instead you can be a complement to each other's thoughts and dreams. Challenge each other to new heights, bond even further with new ways of thinking about things--share your different backgrounds, experiences, and hobbies. Envision together a life that doesn't require you to give up doing what you already love to do, or to look any different than you do now, or pretend to like something that you don't just so "he'll like me." You can just BE and that is enough.
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Because being who you are, and loving each other unconditionally, is really what it is all about.
You can also "fall in love" with someone because there is this big chemical attraction and hormones are going wild and you entertain the notion of some future together before you really find out what that person is all about. It can be a crap shoot. You may find that the sparks die down after you discover you both have very different dreams and goals in life. Different world views. Then again, you may get lucky and be very compatable, and carry that spark all the way to old age.
-
But when you meet a soul mate it is a different deal. An unspoken connection exists almost from the moment you meet. And it doesn't go away. In conversations you can almost read each other's thoughts at times, finishing each other's sentences, or jumping to the same conclusions without really having to explain yourself. A knowing of sorts...without words...is shared. But this doesn't imply total agreement on everything.
-
Quite the contrary.That would be boring. Instead you can be a complement to each other's thoughts and dreams. Challenge each other to new heights, bond even further with new ways of thinking about things--share your different backgrounds, experiences, and hobbies. Envision together a life that doesn't require you to give up doing what you already love to do, or to look any different than you do now, or pretend to like something that you don't just so "he'll like me." You can just BE and that is enough.
-
Because being who you are, and loving each other unconditionally, is really what it is all about.
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